Tears burned behind Lucas eyes as he stared at Ransley lying on the ground while Corlisse and Ramsey worked on to slow down his heart rate. Lucas was sure it would not work. Ransley would die, which would also kill Ramsey and Corlisse and it would be completely Lucas’ fault because he didn’t answer them when they tried to contact him via the Ouija board.
“Hi, pretty boy.”
Lucas heart missed a beat, he jumped up to his feet and spun around. Ransley was standing there, looking exactly the same as he had looked lying on the ground inside the cave. It had worked. It really had worked. Ransley was there, standing in front of Lucas. Seeing Lucas.
“You promised to never call me that again”, Lucas whispered with a shaky voice, wiping his eyes.
“I promised to never call you that as long as you live”, Ransley said. “I’m sorry.”
Lucas sensed that Ransley wasn’t apologising for indirectly saying that Lucas was dead. He was apologising for Lucas dying. Then Lucas realised that Ransley was beating himself up for Lucas’ death, even though he shouldn’t do that.
“It wasn’t your fault”, Lucas said, trying his best to look strong and collected. All he wanted was to ran up to Ransley, jump on his neck and hug him, kiss him and feel his body against his. He had felt so lonely, so frustrated that he couldn’t talk with anyone. “Okay? My death. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Without me you wouldn’t have been on that cliff”, Ransley said, and took a step closer to Lucas, which he noticed right away. Lucas didn’t know what to answer, but he didn’t have to, because Ransley said: “I don’t have much time.”
“I know”, Lucas said and turned his back to Ransley so he could look at Ransley’s body on the ground and Ramsey and Corlisse kneeling down next to him. Both of the warlocks were sweating heavily. “Why are you here?”
“You know why I am here”, Ransley said.
“I know y’all think that I haven’t accepted my death and that’s why I’m stuck”, Lucas said. “But that’s not true. I have accepted it. I am dead, I know it. I’m tired. I have seen how everyone has moved on.”
“Not everyone”, Ransley muttered. He had moved to stand next to Lucas.
Lucas ignored Ransley’s words.
“I’m sure that my loved ones will be okay. That they will continue their lives without me, and be happy again”, Lucas said. “I want to move on. I need to move on! Why can’t I move on?”
Out of nowhere Lucas felt the panic rising. He started breathing heavily and for a brief moment he wondered how the fuck could he have a panic attack even when he was dead? Lucas couldn’t breathe properly, he fell to his knees again and he pressed his palms on his chest, hyperventilating.
Suddenly he felt Ransley’s hands on his shoulders and heard his voice piercing through his ears.
“Calm down, Lucas”, Ransley said. “Breathe. Listen to my voice.”
Lucas tried but it felt impossible.
“Listen to me, Lucas. Remember when I showed up to your house after you left me at Poppy’s? When you had found out about me?”
“Yes”, Lucas breathed out.
“Think about that moment, okay? I think it was the last time you were actually, genuinely happy. Carefree and happy. Remember that feeling. Remember that night.”
Lucas let the memory of that night float in.
“Hi, pretty boy.”
Lucas heart missed a beat, he jumped up to his feet and spun around. Ransley was standing there, looking exactly the same as he had looked lying on the ground inside the cave. It had worked. It really had worked. Ransley was there, standing in front of Lucas. Seeing Lucas.
“You promised to never call me that again”, Lucas whispered with a shaky voice, wiping his eyes.
“I promised to never call you that as long as you live”, Ransley said. “I’m sorry.”
Lucas sensed that Ransley wasn’t apologising for indirectly saying that Lucas was dead. He was apologising for Lucas dying. Then Lucas realised that Ransley was beating himself up for Lucas’ death, even though he shouldn’t do that.
“It wasn’t your fault”, Lucas said, trying his best to look strong and collected. All he wanted was to ran up to Ransley, jump on his neck and hug him, kiss him and feel his body against his. He had felt so lonely, so frustrated that he couldn’t talk with anyone. “Okay? My death. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Without me you wouldn’t have been on that cliff”, Ransley said, and took a step closer to Lucas, which he noticed right away. Lucas didn’t know what to answer, but he didn’t have to, because Ransley said: “I don’t have much time.”
“I know”, Lucas said and turned his back to Ransley so he could look at Ransley’s body on the ground and Ramsey and Corlisse kneeling down next to him. Both of the warlocks were sweating heavily. “Why are you here?”
“You know why I am here”, Ransley said.
“I know y’all think that I haven’t accepted my death and that’s why I’m stuck”, Lucas said. “But that’s not true. I have accepted it. I am dead, I know it. I’m tired. I have seen how everyone has moved on.”
“Not everyone”, Ransley muttered. He had moved to stand next to Lucas.
Lucas ignored Ransley’s words.
“I’m sure that my loved ones will be okay. That they will continue their lives without me, and be happy again”, Lucas said. “I want to move on. I need to move on! Why can’t I move on?”
Out of nowhere Lucas felt the panic rising. He started breathing heavily and for a brief moment he wondered how the fuck could he have a panic attack even when he was dead? Lucas couldn’t breathe properly, he fell to his knees again and he pressed his palms on his chest, hyperventilating.
Suddenly he felt Ransley’s hands on his shoulders and heard his voice piercing through his ears.
“Calm down, Lucas”, Ransley said. “Breathe. Listen to my voice.”
Lucas tried but it felt impossible.
“Listen to me, Lucas. Remember when I showed up to your house after you left me at Poppy’s? When you had found out about me?”
“Yes”, Lucas breathed out.
“Think about that moment, okay? I think it was the last time you were actually, genuinely happy. Carefree and happy. Remember that feeling. Remember that night.”
Lucas let the memory of that night float in.
